Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
