Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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