He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
