nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
