he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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