I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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