The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
