so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
