No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
