An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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