You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
