just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
