Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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