Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Randomize
