Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
When are your genitals available?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
