you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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