Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
