remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
