I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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