I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
