I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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