I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
