I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
