i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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