Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
