I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She just used a chaser for red wine.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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