That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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