He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
