they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
be right there i have to get my cape
Randomize