the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize