I can tuck mytits in my pants
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The power of my boobs compel you
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
