dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
