Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
