Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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