When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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