Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
