Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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