so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
