Duck Duck Cougar?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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