I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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