Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
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