At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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