I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
