I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think people are normalizing furries
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
