No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
