Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
