you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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