I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
