You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
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