was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
