I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
