I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
