And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
