It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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