I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
