I want to walk on stilts...naked
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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