I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
