Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
