I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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