she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
