you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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