dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
