butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Randomize
