Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
