Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
