using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize