Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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