You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
