I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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